Thursday, December 30, 2010
Who? Who Says the Skinny Broad is Hotter?
From the car, I’m watching the soccer mom jog down the main drag here in Anytown, Frozen Tundra USA. She is past me in a moment but I see she could stand to put on a couple of pounds. Wait a minute, wait a minute, don’t go on a man hating rampage yet. I’ve been watching women for over thirty five years now. I have experience. I know who needs to put on weight.
Ladies,
Whoever told you that this is the ideal is not on your side. HE probably doesn’t like women at all. Probably the same dude selling little boy clothes to rich hausfraus in the city. What I’m putting down is he thinks THIS is hot. He is wrong.
Hell and I like Ann Coulter. I think she is funny. I would invite her to dinner (and force her to eat) but we only have four chairs in our dining room set. She is, regrettably, a scarecrow with good hair.
As a public service, I would like to present a more suitable ideal.
Fat…No. Big and bulky…No. Muscular…Yes. If she runs, it is probably very fast.
Once again class, I drive the point home:
NO!
YES!
NONONONONONONO!
YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!
Oh and gentlemen, you probably already know this but the same goes for you.
NO!
YES!
Maybe you’re asking yourself this very minute, “Who made him the arbiter of physical beauty?” Well, we are all entitled to an opinion, are we not? Just that, I happen to be right in this case.
Ladies,
Whoever told you that this is the ideal is not on your side. HE probably doesn’t like women at all. Probably the same dude selling little boy clothes to rich hausfraus in the city. What I’m putting down is he thinks THIS is hot. He is wrong.
Hell and I like Ann Coulter. I think she is funny. I would invite her to dinner (and force her to eat) but we only have four chairs in our dining room set. She is, regrettably, a scarecrow with good hair.
As a public service, I would like to present a more suitable ideal.
Fat…No. Big and bulky…No. Muscular…Yes. If she runs, it is probably very fast.
Once again class, I drive the point home:
NO!
YES!
NONONONONONONO!
YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!
Oh and gentlemen, you probably already know this but the same goes for you.
NO!
YES!
Maybe you’re asking yourself this very minute, “Who made him the arbiter of physical beauty?” Well, we are all entitled to an opinion, are we not? Just that, I happen to be right in this case.
Labels: anderson, booty, coulter, paltrow, press, squat
¶ 12:54 PM
