Mr. Friendly Says So
Friday, October 27, 2006
  Big Bad Bob
All hail my musical rendering of the events before, during, and after the only job (contractual or otherwise) where it was determined that my services were no longer needed. Please sing to Johnny Cash's "Big Bad John" (with my preemptive apologies):

Big Bob
Big Bob

Every mornning at the office, you could see him arrive.
He stood 6 foot 6, weighed 145.
Kind of thin at the shoulders, swayed at the back.
And everybody knew you didn't give no flack to Big Bob.

Big Bob
Big Bob
Big Bad Bob
Big Bob

Nobody seemed to know why Bob was there
He just drifted into work, sat and stared
He didn't say much, kind of quiet and shy
And if you spoke at all, you'd just said hi to Big Bob.
Somebody said he was from Department of Tax,
Where he got into a fight over a unofficial fax.
And a negative review from a political hand,
sent an assistant director to the promise land.

Big Bob
Big Bob
Big bad Bob
Big Bob

Then came the day at that office of mine,
when a statie cracked and memos went flying.
Hindus were praying, and hearts beat fast
and contractors thought they had breathed their last
cept' Bob.
Through the gossip and rumor of this man made hell,
walked a midget of a man that the staties knew well.
Grabbed the first contractor and gave out a groan,
and threw him to the street to stand there alone, Big Bob

Big Bob
Big Bob
Big Bad Bob
Big Bob

And with all of his might, he explained the firing.
But the ousted contractor said, 'there's other people hiring!'.
And 20 men of Mumbai fled from a 'would be' grave
now theres only one left down there to save, Big Bob.
With jacks and timbers, they started back down,
then shut Big Bob up way down in the ground.
And as smoke and coffee belched from that place,
everybody knew they just ran out of space, for Big Bob.

Big Bob
Big Bob
Big Bad Bob
Big Bob

Now they never re-opened that shabby place,
they just put a golden plaque on its face.
These few words are written we know not from,
'At the bottom of all this rubble, lies one Hell of a bum, Big Bob'

Big Bob
Big Bob
Big Bad Bob
Big Bob.

Yeah, it may not be hilarious, but it was funny to me.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
  Zip your lip!
Sorry I have lax in posting. You have every right to be annoyed with me as I leave you hanging on the fate of lil Squirt.

Short story is, as expressed yesterday, he's fine.

Actually, he's fantastic.

Except at 3 AM, when he's hungry and suffering the indignity and discomfort of the ol' wet diaper. Then, he's a real pain in the arse.

Long story. Lil Squirt, as we discovered at the 3 (4?) D ultrasound prior to his arrival, had a unilateral, incomplete cleft lip. Palette was, in fact, intact. So, instead of having to suffer through multiple surgeries for palette, lip, ear, etc. correction, he merely needed some cosmetic surgery to fix the lip. Trust me, there are worse things than this. As evidence I offer the following: google "facial cleft." Let me know what you think of those stories.

Alright, back to Lil Squirt. Plastic surgeons, probably at the urging of worried parents, wait only 3 to 6 months before correcting the cleft lip. The reason they cite is that the earlier the operative scar is made, the better the chances are that the scar will fade in appearance. They wait until they believe the infant is of a age/weight where the general anesthesia is not a huge risk.

That was Mrs. Friendly's and my primary concern. Once put down, we hoped that lil Squirt would wake up. Thank God, he did. Now his only worry is his cool scar which may need further surgery dependent on how the lip looks in a few years.

How does he look? Well, the early results are in and I think the results are successful. Despite being a handsome little devil with the split lip, the reconstruction makes him cuter. Hear that ladies!

Speaking of ladies, this kid really attracts attention from the fairer sex. I remember that Junior did and still does get a great deal of attention due to her cuteness, but I notice that nurses, old and young ladies, female doctors are all enamored of the little man. I must remember to tell him that the ladies like cute and he should remain so for efficacious future relations.

Now, after hearing my tale of woe, you might want to do something. Well, I am only too happy to oblige. Although we did not prevail upon both of these institutions for services, they do good work. First off, we have Boston Children's Hospital. Mrs. and I visited twice: once for prenatal testing; the second time for a consult after lil' Squirt was born. In both instances, I was struck by the approach the staff took there. Generally, I am underwhelmed by the level of effort and attitude of those in the medical industry. At Boston Children's, our experience with the staff was phenomenal. They really seem to be dedicated to the service of children. Given that the average level of affliction there is considerably higher than lil' Squirt's, e.g. facial clefts, undeveloped appendages, heart deformations, etc., their level of effort is a blessing indeed. Secondly, we have the Cleft Palatte Foundation, let's call it a clearinghouse for those who suffer, at the very least, as badly as lil' Squirt. For the most part, these kids are much worse shape.

Please, if you can spare a few bucks, send it either way.

Again, thanks for your interest in lil' Squirt and for your thoughts and prayers.
Voted Best Blog 2006 by the city of Cohoes, NY. Mr. Friendly humbly accepts this honor as he attempts to stamp out retardation in our lifetime.

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