Mr. Friendly Says So
Thursday, May 25, 2006
  The good, the stupid, and the unethical
Dear <>,
Due to increased workplace activity, Mr. Friendly has not been able to record his funny anecdotes and thoughts in this here blog. Although he can't guarantee it, his plans include greater diligence in retarded recordings. Please forgive his absence.

Mr. Friendly's Mom

On the Habib subcontractor front...

One of my subcontractors will be up for renewal soon. I checked with his boss and everything is going swimmingly. I asked about a bump in her rate and he agreed that it would be ok. Great! All Systems Go. Prepare to launch. Whatever...
This is good news, right?
I return to my fugging subcontractor. I tell him the good news. I get "the look." The look is a facial contortion that combines surprise, disdain, and trepidation. He'll have to think about the raise and renewal. You see he has a new house, a baby on the way, and his wife has a job...
What the fug is wrong with these people? IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS A RAISE BAD NEWS? Someone explain to me how a 25% bump is bad?
On second thought don't. I know. He wants more.

Onto the stupid...

The second jagass is a prospect. He answers one of my solicitations:

Hello Mr. Friendly,
How are you? I would like to apply for this
position.Seems to be we can bid up to $165 dollars per
hour.Can I get around $150 dollars then I will send
my updated resume.
Please let me know.
A Subcontinent Moron

For the moment, put aside your thoughts on any company giving a small outfit like mine $165 for an unproven quantity. Rather let's ponder on what said moron thinks my time is worth. Putting a bid together is not insignificant. After you get the resume from your prospect, my firm puts together a package that would choke your typical class action lawyer. Then we gussy up said package, mail it (at my expense), and follow through with proposing firm's contract staff. This is not nonchalant stuff.
Just to add a little spice to the dish, THIS PARTICULAR HABIB backed out of a deal one time for $1 an hour. He bid, interviewed, and won the position. He then tried to squeeze 1 dollar out of the firm contracting his services. Do I need to tell you how this played out? Shorthand: HE IS STILL WORKING 750 miles away!
My response to his query set some conditions to his proposal: one, he must form some sort of company where he was sole proprietor or corporate officer; two, he must bond himself (if awarded the position and did not take it, bond goes to my firm otherwise, bond reverts to him). The response:

Mr. Friendly,
Thanks for the reply.My green card in still going and
I work's for my brother's compnay.If my brother gives
a assurence that will be fine for you? please tell me
your opinion.This time I am going to give 100%
assurence, if I get a bit I will join.
Someone who clearly does not really want to work with me.

I only have one question:
How do you get close to a green card without any communication skills?

Oh well, on to the unethical.

Got a call from a prospective client the other day. Seems one of my "would be" subcontractors made two bids for the same proposal. One with my firm, one with some other outfit. She interviewed with the prospective client through the other firm. A little bent about doing the bid paperwork for this fugging arsehole, I sent the following email to her and her jagass husband (who happens to work at my site).

It has come to our attention that, at least once, you submitted yourself for a bid proposal with Mr. Friendly, Inc. and another company. Forgetting, for the moment, the intelligence of competing with yourself for any position, our firm believes that a continuing relationship with you is not in our best interests. Since the firm, at your request, recently submitted you for Proposal *****, we will pursue a withdrawal of that bid with the proposing firm. Additionally, we will forward no more bids to you.
Our firm is sorry that our relationship has concluded this way. We would have liked to have helped you find a contract position. However, we don't think a continued relationship with you is, or would be, mutually beneficial.
Good luck in your future job search.

Mr. Friendly, President
Mr. Friendly, Inc.

Her husband passed me in office the other day. I thought he was going to jump under a desk and hide. Well, tough shat. He should have told his scumbag wife not to piss me off.
Scumbag Wife.


Post a Comment

<< Home
Voted Best Blog 2006 by the city of Cohoes, NY. Mr. Friendly humbly accepts this honor as he attempts to stamp out retardation in our lifetime.

My Photo
Location: Upstate NY
Get a hold of Mr. Friendly at:
  • Albany Links
  • Albany Eye
  • Shamus
  • The Judge Report
  • Funniest Newspaperman out there...
  • Howie Carr
  • Bring on the Funny
  • Anonymous Co-worker
  • The Phoenix
  • McBlogger aka Kanadian Korner
  • This bug attracts women by the busload
  • Mad Haiku
  • Shilling Like my name is Ron Popeil
  • BMW Books
  • Wall of Shame
  • Untouchable
  • Experiments in Greater Readership
  • Cohoes
  • My Subcontractors Suck
  • Products That Work
    January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / February 2007 / July 2007 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / November 2008 / December 2010 /

    Powered by Blogger