Thursday, July 03, 2008
Reply To All
To: MrFriendly@MrFriendlyInc.com, MrFriendlyClient@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientSupervisor@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientManager@Client.com,
MrFriendlyClientDirector@Client.com
From: LowlyITTrash@Client.com
Subj: Your most recent screw up
Dear Mr. Friendly Sir,
Your latest database design has many flaws. I have doubts with respect to and regarding implementation of your schema change in database CLIENT1. PLEASE CHANGE AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE!!!
Hoping to correct your flawed thinking,
Lowly IT Trash
Ummmm, ok. Today, class we discuss the most egregious problem with the email above. Let’s begin with a multiple choice test:
Is the most egregious problem?
a.) Pidgin English
b.) Failure to describe problem.
c.) The assumption that your humble correspondent is responsible for unspecified problem.
d.) All of the above
Take your time, I’ll wait.
If you said, “e.) The Mofo just emailed my entire supervisory team,” you would be correct. This mode of correspondence is rife with problems. I will try to list them here:
1.) It alerts my client that I may not be, Horrors!, perfect.
2.) It shows these same people that you are not an English wordsmith. Fortuitous enough, that is not my problem.
3.) It opens the door for the old “REPLY TO ALL” rebuttal, which I am quite skilled.
To: : LowlyITTrash@Client.com
CC: MrFriendlyClient@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientSupervisor@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientManager@Client.com,
MrFriendlyClientDirector@Client.com
From MrFriendly@MrFriendlyInc.com
Re: Your most recent screw up
LITT,
Not quite sure which problem you indicate. Please elucidate.
Yours in Christ,
MRF
Note class, my effective use of the open ended follow up. The more rope I give the mope, the better he might hang himself. The reply to this email is not significant. Suffice it to say that we go back and forth like this for a couple of days only to find out that my learned colleague failed to check his facts.
I point this out for one reason only. When composing your screed detailing your officemates’ deficiencies, you may not want to share that with management. My reasoning is, of course, bulletproof.
Suppose you are wrong. Do I really need to detail how your managers will now sympathize with your adversary? Or how they will reevaluate their opinion on your interpersonal and technical skills? Do I? I’m asking the questions here? ANSWER ME!
This works in everyday life too. Suppose you receive the following email:
To: Joan@yahoo.com, Bridget@gmail.com, Tony@somecompany.com, AlphabetSoup@earthlink.net, mrfriendlyalb@yahoo.com, dralan@healthco.org,
Tanya@someschooldistrict.com, mykidsaremylife@nys.org, ihatetheworld@ymail.com,
Ireallyjusthateyou@ymail.com, Mom@hometownemailservice.com, Mary@gmail.com
From: SomePainInTheArse@gmail.com
Subj: New Email Address
To all,
Please note my new email address. Take a moment to update your address books. You may also reach me at
HOME: 888-xxx-xxxx
OFFICE: 888-xxx-xxxx
CELL: 888-xxx-xxxx
Or if you feel like writing,
OFFICE EMAIL: SomePainInTheArse@myoffice.com
Please respond to this email so I can rest easy tonight knowing that all my friends know I changed my email address.
Needfully yours,
Some Pain In The Arse
All right nothing odd here except the strange request for a response. That’s probably the source of another post. Let’s get to the reply I got this morning.
To: SomePainInTheArse@gmail.com
CC: Joan@yahoo.com, Tony@somecompany.com, AlphabetSoup@earthlink.net, mrfriendlyalb@yahoo.com, dralan@healthco.org,
Tanya@someschooldistrict.com, mykidsaremylife@nys.org, ihatetheworld@ymail.com,
Ireallyjusthateyou@ymail.com, Mom@hometownemailservice.com, Mary@gmail.com
From: Bridget@gmail.com
Re: New Email Address
Dear Pain In The Ass,
Thanks for the note. How do you like gmail? I simply love it! Please write back and let me know.
I am always thinking of you.
Love,
Bridget.
Stop. Right. There.
Now we all make mistakes. Since 5:45 this morning, I have 32. But, but, but…no big mistakes. No snipping the blue wire when I meant to cut the green wire, no calling the wife by the wrong name, and certainly no mash notes to former or current lovers posted to 467 of my best friends. With that in mind, I feel empowered to share the following bits of wisdom.
A.) 1.) a.) iv.) Always, always…ALWAYS check who will receive your letter of love.
B.) 234.) z.) mcmvxxxii.) Pain In The Ass may wish to reconsider his/her relationship with Bridget. I mean, come on, would you share a bed or a joke with Bridget.
That is all. No need to reply. ¶ 9:26 AM
MrFriendlyClientDirector@Client.com
From: LowlyITTrash@Client.com
Subj: Your most recent screw up
Dear Mr. Friendly Sir,
Your latest database design has many flaws. I have doubts with respect to and regarding implementation of your schema change in database CLIENT1. PLEASE CHANGE AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE!!!
Hoping to correct your flawed thinking,
Lowly IT Trash
Ummmm, ok. Today, class we discuss the most egregious problem with the email above. Let’s begin with a multiple choice test:
Is the most egregious problem?
a.) Pidgin English
b.) Failure to describe problem.
c.) The assumption that your humble correspondent is responsible for unspecified problem.
d.) All of the above
Take your time, I’ll wait.
If you said, “e.) The Mofo just emailed my entire supervisory team,” you would be correct. This mode of correspondence is rife with problems. I will try to list them here:
1.) It alerts my client that I may not be, Horrors!, perfect.
2.) It shows these same people that you are not an English wordsmith. Fortuitous enough, that is not my problem.
3.) It opens the door for the old “REPLY TO ALL” rebuttal, which I am quite skilled.
To: : LowlyITTrash@Client.com
CC: MrFriendlyClient@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientSupervisor@Client.com, MrFriendlyClientManager@Client.com,
MrFriendlyClientDirector@Client.com
From MrFriendly@MrFriendlyInc.com
Re: Your most recent screw up
LITT,
Not quite sure which problem you indicate. Please elucidate.
Yours in Christ,
MRF
Note class, my effective use of the open ended follow up. The more rope I give the mope, the better he might hang himself. The reply to this email is not significant. Suffice it to say that we go back and forth like this for a couple of days only to find out that my learned colleague failed to check his facts.
I point this out for one reason only. When composing your screed detailing your officemates’ deficiencies, you may not want to share that with management. My reasoning is, of course, bulletproof.
Suppose you are wrong. Do I really need to detail how your managers will now sympathize with your adversary? Or how they will reevaluate their opinion on your interpersonal and technical skills? Do I? I’m asking the questions here? ANSWER ME!
This works in everyday life too. Suppose you receive the following email:
To: Joan@yahoo.com, Bridget@gmail.com, Tony@somecompany.com, AlphabetSoup@earthlink.net, mrfriendlyalb@yahoo.com, dralan@healthco.org,
Tanya@someschooldistrict.com, mykidsaremylife@nys.org, ihatetheworld@ymail.com,
Ireallyjusthateyou@ymail.com, Mom@hometownemailservice.com, Mary@gmail.com
From: SomePainInTheArse@gmail.com
Subj: New Email Address
To all,
Please note my new email address. Take a moment to update your address books. You may also reach me at
HOME: 888-xxx-xxxx
OFFICE: 888-xxx-xxxx
CELL: 888-xxx-xxxx
Or if you feel like writing,
OFFICE EMAIL: SomePainInTheArse@myoffice.com
Please respond to this email so I can rest easy tonight knowing that all my friends know I changed my email address.
Needfully yours,
Some Pain In The Arse
All right nothing odd here except the strange request for a response. That’s probably the source of another post. Let’s get to the reply I got this morning.
To: SomePainInTheArse@gmail.com
CC: Joan@yahoo.com, Tony@somecompany.com, AlphabetSoup@earthlink.net, mrfriendlyalb@yahoo.com, dralan@healthco.org,
Tanya@someschooldistrict.com, mykidsaremylife@nys.org, ihatetheworld@ymail.com,
Ireallyjusthateyou@ymail.com, Mom@hometownemailservice.com, Mary@gmail.com
From: Bridget@gmail.com
Re: New Email Address
Dear Pain In The Ass,
Thanks for the note. How do you like gmail? I simply love it! Please write back and let me know.
I am always thinking of you.
Love,
Bridget.
Stop. Right. There.
Now we all make mistakes. Since 5:45 this morning, I have 32. But, but, but…no big mistakes. No snipping the blue wire when I meant to cut the green wire, no calling the wife by the wrong name, and certainly no mash notes to former or current lovers posted to 467 of my best friends. With that in mind, I feel empowered to share the following bits of wisdom.
A.) 1.) a.) iv.) Always, always…ALWAYS check who will receive your letter of love.
B.) 234.) z.) mcmvxxxii.) Pain In The Ass may wish to reconsider his/her relationship with Bridget. I mean, come on, would you share a bed or a joke with Bridget.
That is all. No need to reply. ¶ 9:26 AM
