Poker, my once and future friend. So Friday night, Junior wants to go to the local kiddie ride and putt-putt golf-a-rama. Mrs. volunteers to bring her. That leaves me and lilSquirt, who is looking like he would rather be in happysleepland, dreaming of, um, you know, "milk dispensers."

Time for...POKAH shenannigans!

Let the games begin. Time to call 8 newly made friends to the No Limit Hold 'Em table on PokerStars and try my luck at losing $50,

Not so random notes
1.) So I don't limp in to 80% of the pots. That must mean I AM THE FUGGING ROCK, baby. Well kids, that's what my opponents thought. After my 3x BB raises from under the gun were met by 8 folds 3 times, I knew it was time to:
a.) Play shatty cards limpily
b.) Win a pot or two
c.) Show same shatty cards
Didn't work out. Oh, I won. A lot of little pots. But my opponents sensed my aura of invulerability and begged off when I played the hammah, 83 offsuit, a jack and a four,...anything.

It got real boring real quick. So I switched tables. Same fuggin thing.

Now I don't play enough to have someone check out my tendencies. So I am stuck here wondering WTF? Really, I just want to play. C'mon fellas, please call me down with worst pair. Please.

2.) MarkyMark on Poker:
I'd rather gnaw off my right arm than play poker. So, no, I will not play.
Oh. But poker is lovely game when you are sucking out on your friends. A few river suckouts come your way and you shat your knickers. I only have one thing to say to FuManMark:
Your slip is showing

3.) Ok there was one hand where I made some money. I get AJc and raise it up 5x. Get one caller (I was so excited to see a flop). Flop is A-7-poop. I make a feeler bet of 3/4's of the pot cause I am thinking if this dude had a strong ace, he would have raised. He calls (Me likey). A fishy call if ever I saw one. No way does he have a high ace. Turn is like a 3 or something and this time I pot it. He min raises me and I raise enough to put him, how do you say, "All you can eat, baby!"
He calls, the river matches the board (not a seven) and we both show...

He had a seven and a four. He lost a lot of money.

I did not question his play in chat or in my mind. I did not berate him. I merely thanked God for placing me in the right place, right time.

Then I logged off.

I will go fishing again some other night.  ¶ 2:26 PM