Mayor of Currytown Verily, I have nothing against those who come to America's shores to expand their opportunities and liberties.

Take, for instance, my boss, the project manager at this here IT shop.


Dapper fellow, no?

The other day, as we discussed various database solutions for a particular challenge here at the ol' worksite, I stopped Gupta as he drew 412th diagram of the database.

"Mr. Gupta," I said, always respectfully.
"Heebeewa, Friendly." he replied.
"Pardon me."
"You are pardoned. Might I continue drawing?"
"In a moment. Could you explain to me why you are drawing all these diagrams of tables, relationships, columns, processing flows, etc.?"
"So you may develop a deeper understanding of the inner workings of business process, technology flows, and database infrastructure."
"Oh."
"I would like to continue my dissertation," he told me.
"In a moment. I have a follow up question. Why is it that you think I need a deeper understanding of business process, technology flows, and database infrastructure?"
"As your superior in this information technology department, I have been tasked with educationing my subordinates on the importantcy of information technology issues."
"Oh."
"May I continue?" he asked.
"Mr. Gupta, how much experience do you have in Information Technology?"
He took a deep breath and said "I have a bachelor's degree in Computer Technologies from the Bengal Institute of Higher Computer Learning. After finishing my studies, I amassed fifteen years experience in database , ten years experience in Java, and twenty five years of experience in Visual Basic. While I got much experience in various technologies, I educated myself in the information management arts culminating in a degree of higher learning at the Mumbai Center for Information Technology Management Excellence. There I was first in my class."
"Pardon me for being so bold, but are you in the United States on a work visa?"
"Of course, Mr. Friendly. I am H1B for the last six months."
"This shop is your first sponsor."
"Oh no," he said, "I have obtained three other sponsors this year."
"I promise this is my last question," I said, "but how old are you?"
"I will be twenty five this fall."
And he continued to draw me some pictures.

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During my lunchtime constitutional last week, some blue hair passed me a leaflet. I guess the hippies were having a gathering in Washington Park soon to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Commemorate is probably the wrong word. Feeling sad and guilty about stopping Japanese imperialism probably nails it.

I took the leaflet back to the office, with the intention of dumping it at my earliest convenience. Sorry, I don't feel particularly guilty about Truman ending World War II.


This suave young fellow visits my desk in the afternoon. Glances at the leaflet that I forgot to throw away and says:
"It is very sad that America killed so many thousands."
Really...
"Yes, it is very sad that the Japanese did not surrender when we asked. Verily, it would be sadder if America lost many more thousands trying to conquer Japan island by island.," I answered.
"But the Japanese did surrender."
"Not unconditionally."
"Yes they did. Don't you know that history is often written by the victorious."
Hmm. Momentarily, I thought about throwing this buffoon down several flights of stairs. Instead, I asked some questions.
"Suppose we didn't drop the bomb, do you think India would be independent?"
"Do you think you could work in the United States?
"Do you think you would be standing around, annoying me, or drawing a bath for your Japanese overlords?

That's what they say about me. I am harsh but fair.

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We lost another H1B the other day. He thought he was irreplaceable.

INTERRUPTION: As an aside, Mr. Friendly stipulates that NO ONE is irreplaceable.

So anyways, he is full of the milk of human hubris. As his contract comes to a close and it is time to bid again (perfunctory of course, but I like it too), his sponsor puts him up for the job. He is duly selected...

THEN

He gives his company an ultimatum. "Give me a raise or I am gone!"

He's gone.

Funny thing is the client was left to drop the ax. They did it late one recent Friday afternoon.

Go figure.

To one of the other Americans here, I ask,
"Don't the habibs realize there is no negotiating with slaves."
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That, my friends, is why they call me the "Mayor of Currytown."

If you, or someone you know is interested in finding out more about the beloved H1B program, please visit this site.  ¶ 8:49 AM