Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Freaky Fundamentailst Phone Line
As part of our ongoing efforts to save souls, Mr. Friendly International Christian Fellowship extends a hearty welcome to your questions and comments. May we have the first caller please:
Ruth: Hi. This is Ruth in Cohoes. I was born again in 1997.
MrF: God bless you Ruth.
Ruth: Thank you. My question is: Suppose I know the Rapture is right around the corner, so I, along with my fellow believers in Jesus Christ, my personal savior, will soon be swept up to our reward (and dodge death in the bargain). Should I continue to do housework, go grocery shopping, mow the lawn, etc.
MrF: Well Ruth, I'll tell you what my sponsors in Christ Jesus told me when I asked a similar question prior to being reborn: "What do you care, it's all going to burn anyways." Here's to seeing you in glory shortly. Next caller please.
Joe: His this Joe from Albany. Will I be good with Jesus if habitually stiff hardworking, yet ignorant, wait staff when I go out to eat?
MrF: Hey Joe, good to hear from you praise the lord. There is no mention of tipping in the Bible. So I think you are ok. Come to think of it, Jesus mentioned giving unto Caesar that which is his, and you know, the money is yours, so feel joyous, you will find yourself in heaven some day. We're talking to Heather.
Heather: Hi, this is Heather in Loudonville. Love your service here. My husband and I will be attending a Promise Keepers event later this year. Of course I will be seated in the back with the other ladies, but I was wondering if it is ok for me to wear something a little less "frumpy" to the festivities. I mean, I am still a good looking woman but my husband says "Gingham or don't go."
MrF: Oh, Heather, I am praying for you now. You are walking a tightrope over the abyss. An abyss that, if you fall in, your soul will be forever tormented by flame and demons. Your husband is looking out for your soul. Listen to him, he knows best! He knows your pride in your appearance will damn you to hell for all eternity. Listen to him! Additionally, he knows that if you dress in a sexy and or provocative way, you will only stoke the fires of his own loinful lust. Tell the clothing demons to STAND BACK, your eternal soul is at stake. By the by, did you know that the fashion industry is dominated by the homosexual cartel? A blow against them is a blow for Christian righteousness. Next call please.
Hong: Hello, sir. This is Hong from Troy. Can Buddhists find Jesus?
MrF: See you in Hell Hong! Next call please.
To be continued ¶ 12:57 PM
Ruth: Hi. This is Ruth in Cohoes. I was born again in 1997.
MrF: God bless you Ruth.
Ruth: Thank you. My question is: Suppose I know the Rapture is right around the corner, so I, along with my fellow believers in Jesus Christ, my personal savior, will soon be swept up to our reward (and dodge death in the bargain). Should I continue to do housework, go grocery shopping, mow the lawn, etc.
MrF: Well Ruth, I'll tell you what my sponsors in Christ Jesus told me when I asked a similar question prior to being reborn: "What do you care, it's all going to burn anyways." Here's to seeing you in glory shortly. Next caller please.
Joe: His this Joe from Albany. Will I be good with Jesus if habitually stiff hardworking, yet ignorant, wait staff when I go out to eat?
MrF: Hey Joe, good to hear from you praise the lord. There is no mention of tipping in the Bible. So I think you are ok. Come to think of it, Jesus mentioned giving unto Caesar that which is his, and you know, the money is yours, so feel joyous, you will find yourself in heaven some day. We're talking to Heather.
Heather: Hi, this is Heather in Loudonville. Love your service here. My husband and I will be attending a Promise Keepers event later this year. Of course I will be seated in the back with the other ladies, but I was wondering if it is ok for me to wear something a little less "frumpy" to the festivities. I mean, I am still a good looking woman but my husband says "Gingham or don't go."
MrF: Oh, Heather, I am praying for you now. You are walking a tightrope over the abyss. An abyss that, if you fall in, your soul will be forever tormented by flame and demons. Your husband is looking out for your soul. Listen to him, he knows best! He knows your pride in your appearance will damn you to hell for all eternity. Listen to him! Additionally, he knows that if you dress in a sexy and or provocative way, you will only stoke the fires of his own loinful lust. Tell the clothing demons to STAND BACK, your eternal soul is at stake. By the by, did you know that the fashion industry is dominated by the homosexual cartel? A blow against them is a blow for Christian righteousness. Next call please.
Hong: Hello, sir. This is Hong from Troy. Can Buddhists find Jesus?
MrF: See you in Hell Hong! Next call please.
To be continued ¶ 12:57 PM
Comments:
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Hi Keshi,
Which is it, do you smell offensive or do you hail from Mumbai?
Either way, don't u go messing up the Phoenix with ur hissy fit.
Oh, and welcome to American blogging. If u don't like what someone has to say, STFU will suffice.
Keshi,
STFU.
Love and Kisses,
MrF
Which is it, do you smell offensive or do you hail from Mumbai?
Either way, don't u go messing up the Phoenix with ur hissy fit.
Oh, and welcome to American blogging. If u don't like what someone has to say, STFU will suffice.
Keshi,
STFU.
Love and Kisses,
MrF
Man o' man you tell it like it is.
From reading this post from the Mr. Friendly International Christian Fellowship, I already feel a closer kinship with our Lord and Savior Jesus.
From reading this post from the Mr. Friendly International Christian Fellowship, I already feel a closer kinship with our Lord and Savior Jesus.
Mr.Friendly no Im not from Mumbai. Im from Aus and have tolerance and am not racist, and ur from the US..thats the big difference I think!
American blogging is this? I don't think so. Just that u need to grow up alot more than the rest of ur fellow-men! U seem to be branding ppl according to country/city/cultures etc...is that how u were brought up to think? If that's American way of thinking, then it's really SAD.
Not that I don't like what someone has to say...guess that's what u r demonstrating right now - u didnt like what I said. Besides u don't have to. Im someone who respects freedom of speech as long as it isnt RACIST. And U SO R RACIST.
Keshi.
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American blogging is this? I don't think so. Just that u need to grow up alot more than the rest of ur fellow-men! U seem to be branding ppl according to country/city/cultures etc...is that how u were brought up to think? If that's American way of thinking, then it's really SAD.
Not that I don't like what someone has to say...guess that's what u r demonstrating right now - u didnt like what I said. Besides u don't have to. Im someone who respects freedom of speech as long as it isnt RACIST. And U SO R RACIST.
Keshi.
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