Everybody Hates This Clown. During the summer months, the Town of Colonie hosts a number of kiddie events . You know, a little something to keep the tykes entertained while the wise parents catch a few z's in the back of the room. Things must be awfully tight at our local library as last night's entertainment left much to be desired.

Bob the Clown did not dazzle or amuse. He did not arouse giggles or excitement. Generally he showed little interest in anything "clown related." As he got more and more disinterested in his own performance, he began a monologue on how his life has gone sour and how the man done him wrong. Our progeny didn't understand many of the details but were certain that their clown was NO FUGGING FUN AT ALL.

When confronted with his ineptitude by Junior and some of her peers, he turned on the kids. First he spoke harshly, calling our greatest achievements brats and little shats. Then he got progressively meaner, dropping a f-bomb or two. The children, confused and hurt, began to riot. In the hoopla, some parents were roused enough to chase him out of the library. Due to the chaos, adults were generally unable to help with a good description for the police. Colonie's finest, being, well, pretty good, took voluminous notes from their only reliable witnesses. Below is the flyer the police printed.

Please take a good look and if you are in the area, keep your eyes open. Me, I will be spending the weekend explaining divorce, welfare, and the DTs to Junior.

Everybody, in my house, hates clowns.

  ¶ 3:04 PM