The Idiot's Guide to Panhandling Look, if you're going to stand outside the bank and put the arm on me, catch a clue, go to the mission and read up and apply some snappier techniques. Let's discuss some do's and dont's

DO
1.) Have a good story. Nothing says "I am going to take any money you give me and buy some Boones Farms/Thunderbird/Old Grandad." like just calling me sir and making the pitch. With so much competition out there, "Excuse me sir, can you LEND me a few dollars?", ain't going to cut it.
I have a tie for best story. One dude hit me up at 6 AM on Broadway in Albany. Seems he needed a dollar or two to get something to eat because he spent all his time and money at the impound lot. Second story is similar except this time, our gap tooth cracker hero blames the Indian at the gas station for keeping his car while said hero goes to get some money to pay for the gas he already pumped into his car. Both cashed with me.
2.) Don't be shy, look me in the eye. I know I will be reaching into my wallet when this occurs. Once, while passing through Tricentennial Park (or whatever they call it), I saw two squirrels making sweet, beautiful love. Panhandler was observing too and said:
"Aw, man look at that."
I made my fateful error and looked at him. Our eyes met for the briefest moment but, that was all he needed.
"Hey man, that's something else, huh? You got a dollar?
DAMMIT!
3.) You get more bees with honey. Entertain me people. I am much more likely to give you cash if you do any of the following: a dance, sing, tell a funny story, play a musical instrument, etc. Who the hell said panhandling shouldn't be work?
Get to it!

DONT's
1.) The following phrases, questions or threats will NOT work. EVER!
a.) Hey buddy, got a couple of bucks?
b.) Excuse me sir,...
c.) Got any money today, arsehole?!
For the record, I seldom respond to "buddy" or "sir." I don't fit the bill. Arsehole may engage me though.
2.) Mumbling. Nothing says your heart is not into begging as mumbling. If you really aren't into it, DON'T BEG!
3.) Letting your customer know you recognize him. There was a time when this one grizzled, old gaspipe would sit outside a building on Washington Ave. Everyday he would make a pass at me. That is until he made a mistake by uttering "that cheap bastard never gives me anything."
Now I never will.
Let that be a lesson to those of you who wish to grow a booze budget by begging.  ¶ 12:48 PM