Happy Opening Day! In my first annual celebration of the Saratoga Race (Flat) Track's opening day, I would like to commemorate the long and prolific life of the great Track patron: Mary Lou Whitney.

Top Ten Things Younger Than Mary Lou Whitney
1.) My Parents (working on octagenarian status, Thanks Mom and Dad!)
2.) The Internet (thank you Al Gore)
3.) Mass Indoor Plumbing (perfected by low flow toilets, Thanks again, Al Gore!
4.) Space Exploration (thank you NASA)
5.) Liz Bishop (thank you cbs6Albany!)
6.) Communism (Thanks Karl Marx)
7.) The Marx Brothers (Thank Groucho, Harpo, Chico, Zeppo, and, of course, Gummo, particularly, thanks for A Day at the Races)
8.) The New York State Racing Authority (Thank you Nelson Rockefeller, Malcolm Wilson, Hugh Carey, Mario Cuomo, and George Pataki)
9.) Sunny Cide

By the way, this is NOT Funny Cide

Although both are known to take horse pills.
10.) Mary Lou's Husband. That would be the dude to her left in the Hooter's shot


Okay, I don't anyone feeling bad about their age or give the agists more grist for the mill. So, here are the top ten things older than Mary Lou Whitney.
1.) The original Mr. CV Whitney, the first husband of our heroine.


2.) Women's Suffrage. (Thank you ladies!)
3.) Moses
4.) Phyllis Diller (by like a week)
5.) Indoor Plumbing
6.) The Pyramids
7.) Democracy
8.) Gambling
9.) Prostitution, the oldest profession.
10.) Dirt.

Have a great day everyone! If you are off to the track, keep a sharp eye out for the women below. And if you see Mrs. Whitney-Hendricksen, shout out "Hi" from the staff at Mr. Friendly.

  ¶ 7:05 AM