Wednesday, June 28, 2006
CapitalAreaMrFriendlyHelpWanted.com
Yo! Cooper is looking for a new slave! If you, or someone you know, is interested, please contact me at mrfriendlyalb@yahoo.com
All information considered reliable (you know, its from Cooper)
JOB DESCRIPTION
We have a position open here at Cooper Logistics for a Billing Technician. It's a full time position with benefits. I'm looking for someone with a good head on their shoulders, hard worker, a personality would be super, superior attention to detail, and would hopefully have a small amount of billing experience. I would forgo the billing experience for someone that is a quick learner and has a good head on their shoulders. If you have "grate attention too detale," don't bother.
So if you know anyone that might be interested in coming to work for a progressive flexible company, working for a great gal (that would be me) and with other fine science-minded folk, receive good company benefits and other perks such as afternoon cookie time please have them send their resume my way.
Job Duties
1.) Arrive on or about 7:30. We have flex time and core hours from 9:30 - 4:00. We are not a shop that dwells on every small detail like some anal retentive first wife that wanted you to make sure that you separated the laundry correctly because failure to do so would result in bleeding and then all your clothes would be pink and you wouldn't be able to go to work in the first place and then what would you do, you lazy bahstahd...
Anyways, as with any new job, make sure you are here before me and leave a respectable five minutes after me.
2.) MAKE ME COFFEE DAMMIT! I take it light and sweet AND NOT TOO SWEET OR YOU WILL BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN! Two sugars, that's it, no more no less, no blue stuff, no pink stuff, no yellow stuff. I like light cream dammit, not milk, not half and half (what the hell is half and half?), not non dairy creamer.
3.) Make the damm cookies! See above job description! I forgot to mention that you need to bake well...TUFF SHAT! P.S. I like Chocolate Chip.
4.) Feet rubbing. You know, life in the fast paced world here at Cooper Logistics can be pretty draining. There is nothing quite like a foot rub to make you ready to "get back in the game." I will be counting on my new billing technician to help me stay energized all four quarters so we can realize our dreams and push the ball through the goal (as it were).
5.) Keep your mouth shut and don't say nuthin'. 'Nuff said n'est pas.
6.) Remember core hours are 9:30 until 4:00. That makes your hours 7:30 - 6:30
Salary
We will give you double what Mr. Friendly gets from his clients!
Benefits
Here at Cooper Logistics, we believe in rewarding the meritorious. So after 10 years of dedicated service and progressively improving performance evaluations, you will receive one week in vacation and three sick days. Plus we will contribute 3 percent of your health care premiums and enter you into our 401K program. In said program, you can purchase Cooper Logistics stock at a 2% discount. Sorry, at this time we have no other products available for 401K stakeholders.
On the upside, after 10 years of service, you receive 1 more vacation/sick day for each 5 years of service. So you have that going for you...
So anyways some key words to remember as a valued potential employee here at Cooper: coffee, cookies, core hours.
Remember folks, if you are interested in the position, contact me, Mr. Friendly at mrfriendlyalb at yahoo dot com. I will pass along all viable candidates.
I have to run, but I hope to return with a preview of tonight's poker shenanigans (sp?) ¶ 7:25 AM
All information considered reliable (you know, its from Cooper)
JOB DESCRIPTION
We have a position open here at Cooper Logistics for a Billing Technician. It's a full time position with benefits. I'm looking for someone with a good head on their shoulders, hard worker, a personality would be super, superior attention to detail, and would hopefully have a small amount of billing experience. I would forgo the billing experience for someone that is a quick learner and has a good head on their shoulders. If you have "grate attention too detale," don't bother.
So if you know anyone that might be interested in coming to work for a progressive flexible company, working for a great gal (that would be me) and with other fine science-minded folk, receive good company benefits and other perks such as afternoon cookie time please have them send their resume my way.
Job Duties
1.) Arrive on or about 7:30. We have flex time and core hours from 9:30 - 4:00. We are not a shop that dwells on every small detail like some anal retentive first wife that wanted you to make sure that you separated the laundry correctly because failure to do so would result in bleeding and then all your clothes would be pink and you wouldn't be able to go to work in the first place and then what would you do, you lazy bahstahd...
Anyways, as with any new job, make sure you are here before me and leave a respectable five minutes after me.
2.) MAKE ME COFFEE DAMMIT! I take it light and sweet AND NOT TOO SWEET OR YOU WILL BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN! Two sugars, that's it, no more no less, no blue stuff, no pink stuff, no yellow stuff. I like light cream dammit, not milk, not half and half (what the hell is half and half?), not non dairy creamer.
3.) Make the damm cookies! See above job description! I forgot to mention that you need to bake well...TUFF SHAT! P.S. I like Chocolate Chip.
4.) Feet rubbing. You know, life in the fast paced world here at Cooper Logistics can be pretty draining. There is nothing quite like a foot rub to make you ready to "get back in the game." I will be counting on my new billing technician to help me stay energized all four quarters so we can realize our dreams and push the ball through the goal (as it were).
5.) Keep your mouth shut and don't say nuthin'. 'Nuff said n'est pas.
6.) Remember core hours are 9:30 until 4:00. That makes your hours 7:30 - 6:30
Salary
We will give you double what Mr. Friendly gets from his clients!
Benefits
Here at Cooper Logistics, we believe in rewarding the meritorious. So after 10 years of dedicated service and progressively improving performance evaluations, you will receive one week in vacation and three sick days. Plus we will contribute 3 percent of your health care premiums and enter you into our 401K program. In said program, you can purchase Cooper Logistics stock at a 2% discount. Sorry, at this time we have no other products available for 401K stakeholders.
On the upside, after 10 years of service, you receive 1 more vacation/sick day for each 5 years of service. So you have that going for you...
So anyways some key words to remember as a valued potential employee here at Cooper: coffee, cookies, core hours.
Remember folks, if you are interested in the position, contact me, Mr. Friendly at mrfriendlyalb at yahoo dot com. I will pass along all viable candidates.
I have to run, but I hope to return with a preview of tonight's poker shenanigans (sp?) ¶ 7:25 AM
