With my apologies to Joe Cocker What would you do if I raised half the pot
Would you stand up and push all in on me?
Lend me a buck and I'll tell you how to play
And I'll try not to act like a f'en donkey.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my luck is away
(Does it worry you to be card dead?)
How do I feel by the end of the play,
(Are you sad because you were never ahead?)

No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need any money
I need some chips to shove
Could it be any money
I want some chips to shove


Would you believe in love at first sight
Yes, I'm certain 8 3 off will win this time
What do you see when you turn out the light
The flop hits I know the pot is mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need any money
I need some chips to shove
Could it be any money
I want some chips to shove

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends

Last night, theHost was gracious enough to run a turbo tourney plus cash game in his garage. The Line Up:
theHost
BMW
flyingDane
Let's Chat
MarkyMark
Cooper
Mr. Vegas
MillionDollarMan
Me
--cash game add
MillionDollarMan's brother, let's call him Sarge
WallyBall
subtract
Cooper, hope you're feeling better.

Highlights
I did pretty well. Must have been the cards. I finished 2nd in the tourney by:
Betting out preflop with AK suited. I get raised by BMW. I call and we see the flop of AKcrap. BMW checks and I wave my hand at his chips and say:
"Everything you got there." (I guess you have to see it, seemed kind of spazzy to me). BMW calls and his middle pair goes down in flames.

I RULE.

The game gets kind of short handed. I think it was me, Dane, MillionDollar, Cooper, and letsChat left. Dane raises preflop and it folds to me. I look down at my AA baby and I pop him hard. He calls and we go to the flop. It is trash. I push and the Dane can't get the chips in quick enough. Oh, shat! Wait, he only hit top pair. I duh-duh-duh-double up. Woo Hoo.

I ask the Dane later what the hell he thought I had. He told me he thought I was overplaying theHammer. Nope, not this time...the next time. Same scenario. Dane and me in to see the flop after preflop raising. Ace high flop. I bet out and Dane says something like "You think you have me on the run." just before he mucked it. Sorry Dane, I had to show. He did, in fact, see the humor.

And about half an hour later, it was heads up between the Dane and me again. I am card dead and chipping down. With 5000 in chips and blinds at 1600/3200, I go all in blind. 74 off is your hand sir, second place is your prize.

Congratulations Dane, you bald headed bahstahd.

Congratulations to Cooper for pushing me off a top pair hand. Even sick as a dog, she laid a beaten on me.

Non-pokery highlights
1.) Weather was beautiful
2.) Meatballs were hot.
3.) Beer Cold.
4.) Cigars tasty.
5.) Sarge's DI school stories. Get him to share one sometime. Hysterical.
6.) MillionDollar sharing some of his good fortune with the little people. Thanks for the cookies, man!
7.) Calling flyingDane Big Fella. I don't know, you had to be there.

Cash game was a little less eventful than last week since we would only play a couple of hours. Smaller chance for huge-o rebuys. Although Wally did effort.

Best hands of the night, the only ones I remember...
1.) I limp with 8s. Mr. Vegas or Wally puts in about 10x the big blind. The other calls and I call cause, well, you'll see. Flop is 8c some other club and a piece of crap(K). Again with the betting, five from Mr. Vegas, WallyCall (blanche!), and I rrrraise it up to about $12. Vegas drops quick. Then we get WallyBall theater! He not only goes into the tank, but he has to give you a show while he does it. "Oh my god! How can you bet that much! Don't you know this is a friendly game! Why are you scaring us off., etc. etc...."

He finally folds and asks to see the rabbits after I show him trips. Boy, he was bent for a moment when the K showed on the river!

Until he realized that gave me a boat.

2.) Do you guys really like hand histories? Ok, BMW raises early and I pop him back with AQo. He pushes and here is my thinking:
"This bastahd is trying to buy this hand. Fug that mister! My cards rule!"

Let that be a lesson to you kids, K2s (37%) does beat AQo (62%). Sonovabiatch BMW!
As I counted out the chips to pay him off, I told him he had throw me a "Give it to me!" to get paid off. He obliged. I feel we are now even.

Biggest Stacks at the game.
1.) theHost
2.) Me
3.) MarkyMark (he also pushed me off top pair with his top pair plus real shatty kicker) sonuvabiatchin MarkyMark!

All in all, a great night except Cooper had to split early.

Until next week kids. And yes, I do take requests, just remember to hit the tip jar.  ¶ 11:38 AM