Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Name that Habib!
Tonight we are going to play America's new favorite game...
NAME THAT HABIB!
(It sounds really cool if we all say it at once!)
Wink Martingale is our host.
Wink: Our contestants tonight hail from upstate New York. Contestant Number One is Mr. Friendly, notorious at work bully and model railroad enthusiast. Mr. Friendly, got anything to say to the audience.
Me: Let's name some Habibs.
Wink: Our second contestant was born and bred in the garment district of Kinderhook, NY. He is a web developer and misanthrope with 20 years experience. Say hello to Simon!
Simon: What's going on Wink?
Wink: You know how we play the game. I rattle off some hints about a particular H1B visa applicant/holder. Your job is to name that H1B or Habib. The first one to 200 points is our winner. So, are you guys ready to play?
Me: Let's roll Wink!
Simon: I'm ready.
Wink: Let's Name that Habib then! Our first question is a toss up: Which 19 year old drop out from the University of Mumbai claimed 20 yeas of Java experience in order to get his visa?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Mr. Friendly: That would be Ravi
Wink: Could you be a little more specific.
Mr. Friendly: Ravendra
Wink: We need a last name.
Mr. Friendly: Ravendra Patel.
Wink: You are correct, sir. Please tell me were you guessing on the last name.
Mr. Friendly: Yeah, I figured it was a 50/50 shot.
Wink: Ok. For your follow up, can you tell me how much experience Ravi Patel claimed he had as an IBM consultant trainer.
Mr. Friendly: That would be 42 years, Wink.
Wink: You are correct sir. And you have 50 points.
Wink: Our next toss up question: Which Habib has a streak of 542 bathroom visits where he stands next to someone at the urinal, flushes the urinal before but not after using, and not washing his hands?
Buzzer sounds
Simon Name that Habib!
Simon: That would be Surresh Kanel.
Wink: Correct. For another 25 points, tell me where he met his wife?
Simon: Aw geez, that's tough.
Wink: We need an answer.
Simon: I forget if it was Punjab's Meet-A-Mate or the Happy Hindu Marriage Catalog.
Wink: You'll have to pick one.
Simon: The Happy Hindu!
Wink: That's right!
(Crowd roars)
Wink: Ok, we are tied at 50. Our next question is: This Habib holds the United States' record for shortest period of time between the granting of the visa and subsequent recision?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Surresh Venkat.
Wink: Oooohhh. Not right. Simon can you give us an answer?
Simon: Surresh Venkatraman.
Wink: That is correct! For your follow up, can you tell us why Surresh's stay in the states was so short.
Simon: I believe he spoke two words of English.
Wink: Correct! Bonus points if you know what they are.
Simon: uuuuhhhhhm "No" and "doubt."
Wink: (pauses) That's correct! Simon now leads 150 to 50.
Our next toss up question concerns hygiene. Can either of you tell me the legal name of Habib Srihari Chenainnahchklzvbrittfpl?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Srihari Smith.
Wink: That is correct! Can you tell me his nickname?
Me: That would Alphabet Soup.
Wink: That is incorrect! Simon do you know.
Simon: The answer is Consonant Soup. That boy was afraid of vowels.
Wink: Ok, we got a real contest tonight. The score is 175 to 75 in favor of Simon and our next toss up question: Which Habib thinks Right Guard deodorant is a cologne?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Anjana Reddy.
Wink: That is correct! Can you tell me the shortest distance that one would need to be from Anjana in order to avoid teary eyes and burned sinuses?
Me: uuuuhhhh. Twenty five feet.
Wink: I am so sorry. Simon do you know?
Simon: That would be 45 feet Wink.
Wink: We have a new winner!
Crowd cheers
Wink: Simon, for winning tonight on Name that Habib!, you and a special someone get an all expense paid trib to Calcutta, new home of the black death. You and your guest will stay at the Calcutta Radisson where your host. Join us next week on Name that Habib! Good night everybody! ¶ 9:15 PM
NAME THAT HABIB!
(It sounds really cool if we all say it at once!)
Wink Martingale is our host.
Wink: Our contestants tonight hail from upstate New York. Contestant Number One is Mr. Friendly, notorious at work bully and model railroad enthusiast. Mr. Friendly, got anything to say to the audience.
Me: Let's name some Habibs.
Wink: Our second contestant was born and bred in the garment district of Kinderhook, NY. He is a web developer and misanthrope with 20 years experience. Say hello to Simon!
Simon: What's going on Wink?
Wink: You know how we play the game. I rattle off some hints about a particular H1B visa applicant/holder. Your job is to name that H1B or Habib. The first one to 200 points is our winner. So, are you guys ready to play?
Me: Let's roll Wink!
Simon: I'm ready.
Wink: Let's Name that Habib then! Our first question is a toss up: Which 19 year old drop out from the University of Mumbai claimed 20 yeas of Java experience in order to get his visa?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Mr. Friendly: That would be Ravi
Wink: Could you be a little more specific.
Mr. Friendly: Ravendra
Wink: We need a last name.
Mr. Friendly: Ravendra Patel.
Wink: You are correct, sir. Please tell me were you guessing on the last name.
Mr. Friendly: Yeah, I figured it was a 50/50 shot.
Wink: Ok. For your follow up, can you tell me how much experience Ravi Patel claimed he had as an IBM consultant trainer.
Mr. Friendly: That would be 42 years, Wink.
Wink: You are correct sir. And you have 50 points.
Wink: Our next toss up question: Which Habib has a streak of 542 bathroom visits where he stands next to someone at the urinal, flushes the urinal before but not after using, and not washing his hands?
Buzzer sounds
Simon Name that Habib!
Simon: That would be Surresh Kanel.
Wink: Correct. For another 25 points, tell me where he met his wife?
Simon: Aw geez, that's tough.
Wink: We need an answer.
Simon: I forget if it was Punjab's Meet-A-Mate or the Happy Hindu Marriage Catalog.
Wink: You'll have to pick one.
Simon: The Happy Hindu!
Wink: That's right!
(Crowd roars)
Wink: Ok, we are tied at 50. Our next question is: This Habib holds the United States' record for shortest period of time between the granting of the visa and subsequent recision?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Surresh Venkat.
Wink: Oooohhh. Not right. Simon can you give us an answer?
Simon: Surresh Venkatraman.
Wink: That is correct! For your follow up, can you tell us why Surresh's stay in the states was so short.
Simon: I believe he spoke two words of English.
Wink: Correct! Bonus points if you know what they are.
Simon: uuuuhhhhhm "No" and "doubt."
Wink: (pauses) That's correct! Simon now leads 150 to 50.
Our next toss up question concerns hygiene. Can either of you tell me the legal name of Habib Srihari Chenainnahchklzvbrittfpl?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Srihari Smith.
Wink: That is correct! Can you tell me his nickname?
Me: That would Alphabet Soup.
Wink: That is incorrect! Simon do you know.
Simon: The answer is Consonant Soup. That boy was afraid of vowels.
Wink: Ok, we got a real contest tonight. The score is 175 to 75 in favor of Simon and our next toss up question: Which Habib thinks Right Guard deodorant is a cologne?
Buzzer sounds
Mr. Friendly Name that Habib!
Me: That would be Anjana Reddy.
Wink: That is correct! Can you tell me the shortest distance that one would need to be from Anjana in order to avoid teary eyes and burned sinuses?
Me: uuuuhhhh. Twenty five feet.
Wink: I am so sorry. Simon do you know?
Simon: That would be 45 feet Wink.
Wink: We have a new winner!
Crowd cheers
Wink: Simon, for winning tonight on Name that Habib!, you and a special someone get an all expense paid trib to Calcutta, new home of the black death. You and your guest will stay at the Calcutta Radisson where your host. Join us next week on Name that Habib! Good night everybody! ¶ 9:15 PM
