Monday, April 24, 2006
Big Weekend Doings!
I don't usually remember my dreams. Not even sure I have them regularly. Friday night, Saturday morning though, I had a weird one.
Wasn't even a sex dream...Jeebus.
Seems I am driving my car down a residential street near my parents house in Cohoes. I look down to read the paper, find a cigar, something, and when I look up, I am about to rear end someone.
With cat like reflexes, I manage to only clip the car. But like those executive office toys, that car manages to hit the car ahead of it, that one strikes a third, the third rolls into a fourth.
Even in my dreams, I swear...SUNAVFUGGINBIATCH.
Now things get weird. The third and fourth cars are driven by geezers. You don't need to be psychologist on that one. I fear/dread octogenarians on the road. The third car is some cute coed. Again, no explanation needed...if you're going to get into an accident, hopefully you hit, and not hurt, a cute girl. Here's the kicker. In the first car is Larry Linville. That's right. I rear ended Maj. Burns.
What the Fug?! Freud would have a field day.
So anyways, no one is hurt and it's one of those dreams where I am stuck in my most feared situation...talking to geezers.
Me: I am sorry I hit you. Here is my insurance information. May I have yours?
Geezer: You bahstahd. You gave me heart attack. They should lock you up and throw away the key. Don't you know that honest people are trying to run errands. Maniacs like you should not be driving, you should have to walk. No bus for you. I remember back in aught 8, my father was the stagecoach driver on the Yuma Dodge City line, I rode shotgun, yeah I was eighteen. Well, anyways, he ran into someone else's horse and the townspeople lynched him. And they were right to do so...(you get the idea).
Then, both shuffle away without giving me there insurance information.
Perfect.
Well, at least the girl was cute.
And Major Burns was the voice of reason. He kept the geezers from caning me to death.
Go figure.
When I wake up, I was so relieved that I did not really bump into geezers, that I smiled broadly and went back to sleep.
*******************
Ok, last night while I waited for the rice to cook, I locked horns with 8 other morons at PokerStars. Jagasserry fires up before the cards fly.
Jagass: albhammer, you have a good g y.
Me: ty?
Jagass: LOL, just checking out your previous play.
Me: Fantastic. GL.
Jagass: You too. UR going 2 need it.
Jagass flamed out in 8th place.
Jagass2 play of the night. Warning: I am not the Jagass in this situation.
Preflop, I am in the BB with 3 limpers. Holding 76o. Flop is 76x. I bet the pot, two folds, then the raise.
Merci beaucoup. How do you like my all in?
He likes it enough to call. Sorry sir, your kings will not stand.
Let this be a lesson to you. RAISE YOUR FUGGIN KINGS!
Anyhow, for those of you who care, the result:
PokerStars Tournament #23610892, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $10.00/$1.00
9 players
Total Prize Pool: $90.00
Tournament started - 2006/04/23 - 22:38:59 (ET)
Dear albHammer,
You finished the tournament in 1st place.
A $45.00 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
Kind of cool, PokerStars welcomes me back with 403 pocket pairs and 8 goofs who will call me down everytime.
*******************
Mrs. Friendly and I are watching Dawson's Creek last night. Yeah, we're cool because we have a DVR. Anyways, they show that chick whose looks are way overrated. She is in her college dormroom talking with her roommate. Durn if I knew what they were talking about, but I say to Mrs. Friendly "That's some room they got there. Doesn't look anything like the dorms I have ever seen." She says: "Yeah, they didn't film it in Plassman Hall."
That's when I kick in with my favorite college conversation:
KrazyKoed1: "What's that smell?"
KrazyKoed2: "That's fecal matter."
KrazyKoed1: "No, not that."
KrazyKoed2: "Oh, that's urine."
KrazyKoed1: "Nah, not that one either."
KrazyKoed2: "You must mean the vomit."
KrazyKoed1: "Nope."
KrazyKoed2: "Does the spooge offend?"
KrazyKoed1: "I don't think so."
KrazyKoed2: "Mold and mildew?"
KrazyKoed1: "Yeah, that's it."
On and on it goes...
On a serious note, the Mrs. and I would like you to pray for the family and friends of Marlene Hill, owner of perenial Entertainment Book restaurant favorite, Luigi's in Schenectady. She was murdered late last week and her grandson has been arrested as the alleged perpetrator.
Sorry to end on a downer. Maybe something retarded will happen later today and I can fill you all in on it. ¶ 7:58 AM
Wasn't even a sex dream...Jeebus.
Seems I am driving my car down a residential street near my parents house in Cohoes. I look down to read the paper, find a cigar, something, and when I look up, I am about to rear end someone.
With cat like reflexes, I manage to only clip the car. But like those executive office toys, that car manages to hit the car ahead of it, that one strikes a third, the third rolls into a fourth.
Even in my dreams, I swear...SUNAVFUGGINBIATCH.
Now things get weird. The third and fourth cars are driven by geezers. You don't need to be psychologist on that one. I fear/dread octogenarians on the road. The third car is some cute coed. Again, no explanation needed...if you're going to get into an accident, hopefully you hit, and not hurt, a cute girl. Here's the kicker. In the first car is Larry Linville. That's right. I rear ended Maj. Burns.
What the Fug?! Freud would have a field day.
So anyways, no one is hurt and it's one of those dreams where I am stuck in my most feared situation...talking to geezers.
Me: I am sorry I hit you. Here is my insurance information. May I have yours?
Geezer: You bahstahd. You gave me heart attack. They should lock you up and throw away the key. Don't you know that honest people are trying to run errands. Maniacs like you should not be driving, you should have to walk. No bus for you. I remember back in aught 8, my father was the stagecoach driver on the Yuma Dodge City line, I rode shotgun, yeah I was eighteen. Well, anyways, he ran into someone else's horse and the townspeople lynched him. And they were right to do so...(you get the idea).
Then, both shuffle away without giving me there insurance information.
Perfect.
Well, at least the girl was cute.
And Major Burns was the voice of reason. He kept the geezers from caning me to death.
Go figure.
When I wake up, I was so relieved that I did not really bump into geezers, that I smiled broadly and went back to sleep.
*******************
Ok, last night while I waited for the rice to cook, I locked horns with 8 other morons at PokerStars. Jagasserry fires up before the cards fly.
Jagass: albhammer, you have a good g y.
Me: ty?
Jagass: LOL, just checking out your previous play.
Me: Fantastic. GL.
Jagass: You too. UR going 2 need it.
Jagass flamed out in 8th place.
Jagass2 play of the night. Warning: I am not the Jagass in this situation.
Preflop, I am in the BB with 3 limpers. Holding 76o. Flop is 76x. I bet the pot, two folds, then the raise.
Merci beaucoup. How do you like my all in?
He likes it enough to call. Sorry sir, your kings will not stand.
Let this be a lesson to you. RAISE YOUR FUGGIN KINGS!
Anyhow, for those of you who care, the result:
PokerStars Tournament #23610892, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $10.00/$1.00
9 players
Total Prize Pool: $90.00
Tournament started - 2006/04/23 - 22:38:59 (ET)
Dear albHammer,
You finished the tournament in 1st place.
A $45.00 award has been credited to your Real Money account.
Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.
Kind of cool, PokerStars welcomes me back with 403 pocket pairs and 8 goofs who will call me down everytime.
*******************
Mrs. Friendly and I are watching Dawson's Creek last night. Yeah, we're cool because we have a DVR. Anyways, they show that chick whose looks are way overrated. She is in her college dormroom talking with her roommate. Durn if I knew what they were talking about, but I say to Mrs. Friendly "That's some room they got there. Doesn't look anything like the dorms I have ever seen." She says: "Yeah, they didn't film it in Plassman Hall."
That's when I kick in with my favorite college conversation:
KrazyKoed1: "What's that smell?"
KrazyKoed2: "That's fecal matter."
KrazyKoed1: "No, not that."
KrazyKoed2: "Oh, that's urine."
KrazyKoed1: "Nah, not that one either."
KrazyKoed2: "You must mean the vomit."
KrazyKoed1: "Nope."
KrazyKoed2: "Does the spooge offend?"
KrazyKoed1: "I don't think so."
KrazyKoed2: "Mold and mildew?"
KrazyKoed1: "Yeah, that's it."
On and on it goes...
On a serious note, the Mrs. and I would like you to pray for the family and friends of Marlene Hill, owner of perenial Entertainment Book restaurant favorite, Luigi's in Schenectady. She was murdered late last week and her grandson has been arrested as the alleged perpetrator.
Sorry to end on a downer. Maybe something retarded will happen later today and I can fill you all in on it. ¶ 7:58 AM
