Mr. Friendly Says So
Thursday, March 16, 2006
  That's just what he wants you to think...
Play harp music...

I am having a flashback moment.

The year was 1994 and I was a newly minted Econometrician for, you guessed it, a New York State Agency. After everyone was done reading newspapers for the day, right after lunch, we would have a project/staff/pre meeting. Invariably, these would turn into peeing contests of the "Well, I must be smarter than you, listen to what I just speculated/surmised/bullshatted" variety. Again invariably, the counter thrust to that argument was the intelligentsia version of "You are a retard because . NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE, ever pretended to be unaware of his peers pet theories, jargon, bullshat, etc. It made you look weak.

I, of course not immune to this particular disorder to this day, thought they were all retards. In retrospect, I was right on the money. It's just that I was right for the wrong reason. Back in day, when I was wheeling/dealing stepwise regression and non-linear sampling models (see what I mean), I thought I was one of the "smartest people in the room." I WAS INFECTED BY THE BURGEONING BATTLE OF BLOVIATING. My fellow combatants/colleagues were not retarded because they disagreed with me, but because they fell for this "mine's bigger than yours" mentality.

At this point, you are probably wondering "Mr. Friendly! What the HELL does that have to do with a.) poker b.) investing c.) doughnuts d.) retards.

Let's get down to it.

Yesterday, I linked an apparent retard. This .guy's profile, picture, blog, and comments scream:

I AM RETARDED, HEAR ME ROAR!

He has the poker blogging community on tilt by playing the fool.

To him, I say, well done sir!

I think I am on to him though.

Consider my thoughts above on my early state work experience. Boiled down, it went like this:
1.) Me insecure about my intelligence/standing.
2.) Me need reassurance.
3.) Me look good winning verbal battles.
4.) Me belittle other's thoughts, ideas, etc.
5.) Me an arsehole.

Consider also that the poker world (blogging, non-blogging, professional, online, etc.) is just fuggin rife with "mine's bigger than your's" mentality.

So what happens when you take the reverse tack.

Perhaps by pretending to be a retard you can set the bloggers on fire.
A drunken retard.
A drunken, woman beating retard.
A drunken, woman beating, deadbeat daddying retard.
A drunken, woman beating, deadbeat daddying, fundamentalist christian, illiterate, ,delusional, farting, and worst of all, bad poker playing retard.

If that was the objective, theChamp has succeeded tremendously. A partial list of the pissed off and head scratchers:
1.) Female poker bloggers like Gracie, Maudie, change100.
2.) Illuminated men who wish to protect the ladies or are offended by theChamp's comments. BG, Waffles, HOP, or Duggle.
3.) The guy who lost a $10 prop bet to theChamp.

Why do I think this dude's postings are engineered?

Because they are JUST TOO RETARDED!

His main points of poker delusions of grandeur, women bashing, drinking are just too gosh darned consistent. I took my theory down to the guy who runs newstand in our building, Ricky Retardo, and we had the following conversation.


Me: Hey, Ricky.
RR: Hey, hey, hey, hey...you.
Me: Did you get a chance to read the blog posts I brought down yesterday?
RR: You know I can't read!
Me: Ok. Do you think theChamp suffers from down's syndrome or something like that.
RR: I like paper.
Me: Focus Ricky! Can the developmentally disabled churn out 500 words on a blog per day?
RR: Huh?
Me: Can retards write?
RR: I have to pee.


All right, so we know a couple of things.
1.) Generally, people of lower IQ have trouble focusing and expressing themselves consistently and coherently.
2.) I am more retarded than Ricky.

I stipulate the following:
1.) TheChamp is consistent.
2.) TheChamp is coherent.
3.) TheChamp has NO trouble communicating his point of view.
4.) Given my experience with the Intelligentsia, I think he is pulling a fast one by not explicitly showing how smart he is. Call it SMART LEVEL 2.

Or he is a very highly evolved Moron.

He definitely has some people going beserk.

As always your comments are appreciated...
 
Comments:
Hey now, Champ doesn't piss me off. He amuses me. Settle down.
 
FYI - Downs Syndrome isn't funny.
 
Gracie-
Maybe you are a head scratcher?

fairnbalncd-
FYI - I think someone is missing the point. By the way, what is funny? Is there a list of people that you deem fit for ridicule?
 
There's only one guy clever enough to pull that off, and I'm pretty certain it's not him.

So by process of elimination, I believe he's genuine. A genuine idiot.
 
Downs Syndrome can be very funny.

So I disagree.

For instance, a downs syndrome guy I know (and gave a ride home from the market to) had just bought 4 huge tubs of ice cream and a 24pk of diet coke in the middle of winter. Why? Cause they were on sale at the supermarket he works at. I thought that was pretty funny.

Also, swear words and off color jokes are also funny. Why? Because I find them funny. I'm with Mr. Friendly here. If it's not your style of humor you can choose to not find it funny, but that doesn't mean it isn't funny to someone else.

Besides, he was obviously trying to be funny.
 
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