Thursday, March 02, 2006
Deep Dark Depression
Excessive misery...
It's not that I am depressed to be out of work...
I will go back...
eventually.
Enough of that, ON TO THE MORONICA!!!
I am declaring Thursday nights to be Mr. Friendly award night. Awards will be created and given by me. Awards consist of general criticism and egregious disdain.
First off we have the award for the most recently referring blogs. They are:
Some French shat
Imagine that. An American blog written in French! How fugging cute! I think there is some high school sophmore girl getting a few extra brownie points at St. Anselm's High School House of Pain. Either that or there is some FrenchMos out there demonstrating their competence de francaise (yeah, that's right Mr. Friendly is all about demonstrating his strengths too!). Take it from me, if you run into somebody who is practicing (or sending secret messages) French, (s)he is a GOOF and should be avoided with extreme prejudice with the occassional exception for ridicule. But please feel free to click the link and read on.
Batting second for referrals is the Grandma's Blog.
Imagine you are surfing the net. During your search for porn and stock information, you come across the Knitting Zone. How long do you think it would take you to hit "Next Blog?" Is there a measure of time less than a nanosecond? Don't know.
Second award goes to the place on Earth that is furthest from Colonie, NY that accessed this here ol' blog. Hello Milwaukee! Have a Schlitz in the Can on me!
Third award is a bit dubious. I am almost considering not awarding it. I call it "Did this fugger rip me off? Award" Take a look at the following:
In a public restroom (men only)...
· Speaking (exceptions include "excuse me," "sorry" and "thank you") - $50
· Speaking while in a stall with the door closed - $100
· Purposefully ignoring urinal etiquette* when appropriate choices can be made - $100
· Reaching the sinks at the same time as another in an uncrowded restroom - $50
· Eye contact of any sort - $100
· Not making at least a token effort to pretend to wash your hands if another person is in there - $100
*"Urinal etiqutte" simply means that you should always have a one-urinal gap at minimum between yourself and another who is/may be using the facilities.
DOES THAT FUGGIN SOUND FAMILIAR?!
That is because I wrote about it a couple of months ago! See January 20th, 2005.
OK. That's about it. I am calm now.
One last thing. Those of you who are interested and might know someone who wants to get a "ahem" high paying IT consultant job, drop me a line in the comments. Despite my current "vacation," I have a pile of proposals in the inbox and I am always looking for some IT "ONTAPENURES" (say it out loud).
Peace out.
Oh yeah, second place for the furthest contest was Alcove, NY. A big hey to Alcove! You know, without farming, we would all be eating dirt.
I am really depressed because I am really bored.
Peace out part deux. (yeah FrenchMos, I am talking to you!) ¶ 11:14 PM
It's not that I am depressed to be out of work...
I will go back...
eventually.
Enough of that, ON TO THE MORONICA!!!
I am declaring Thursday nights to be Mr. Friendly award night. Awards will be created and given by me. Awards consist of general criticism and egregious disdain.
First off we have the award for the most recently referring blogs. They are:
Some French shat
Imagine that. An American blog written in French! How fugging cute! I think there is some high school sophmore girl getting a few extra brownie points at St. Anselm's High School House of Pain. Either that or there is some FrenchMos out there demonstrating their competence de francaise (yeah, that's right Mr. Friendly is all about demonstrating his strengths too!). Take it from me, if you run into somebody who is practicing (or sending secret messages) French, (s)he is a GOOF and should be avoided with extreme prejudice with the occassional exception for ridicule. But please feel free to click the link and read on.
Batting second for referrals is the Grandma's Blog.
Imagine you are surfing the net. During your search for porn and stock information, you come across the Knitting Zone. How long do you think it would take you to hit "Next Blog?" Is there a measure of time less than a nanosecond? Don't know.
Second award goes to the place on Earth that is furthest from Colonie, NY that accessed this here ol' blog. Hello Milwaukee! Have a Schlitz in the Can on me!
Third award is a bit dubious. I am almost considering not awarding it. I call it "Did this fugger rip me off? Award" Take a look at the following:
In a public restroom (men only)...
· Speaking (exceptions include "excuse me," "sorry" and "thank you") - $50
· Speaking while in a stall with the door closed - $100
· Purposefully ignoring urinal etiquette* when appropriate choices can be made - $100
· Reaching the sinks at the same time as another in an uncrowded restroom - $50
· Eye contact of any sort - $100
· Not making at least a token effort to pretend to wash your hands if another person is in there - $100
*"Urinal etiqutte" simply means that you should always have a one-urinal gap at minimum between yourself and another who is/may be using the facilities.
DOES THAT FUGGIN SOUND FAMILIAR?!
That is because I wrote about it a couple of months ago! See January 20th, 2005.
OK. That's about it. I am calm now.
One last thing. Those of you who are interested and might know someone who wants to get a "ahem" high paying IT consultant job, drop me a line in the comments. Despite my current "vacation," I have a pile of proposals in the inbox and I am always looking for some IT "ONTAPENURES" (say it out loud).
Peace out.
Oh yeah, second place for the furthest contest was Alcove, NY. A big hey to Alcove! You know, without farming, we would all be eating dirt.
I am really depressed because I am really bored.
Peace out part deux. (yeah FrenchMos, I am talking to you!) ¶ 11:14 PM
