Thursday, January 12, 2006
Odds of winning
Let's start with some hopefuls:
BigMan: kind of hard to win when YOU NEVER F*CKING SHOW!!!!!
Mr. Weatherbee: Ditto, but we feel his love. Did anyone ever hear the story where this son of b*tch sent me to the rail with some weak Ax against my might AJ suited? If not, I can regale you tonight.
JonBoy: Home counting his winnings. No chance.
JoGirl: Helping JonBoy do same. Zero.
TonyaHarding: After the savage beating she gave us the last time she showed, how can this be anything but a positive move to her bankroll. She gets zero chance and a "I can't believe she would pass up beating our brains in again" Award.
RangerDanger: Given the choice of playing cards or hiding in the bushes waiting for hikers, guess what this guy chooses? Unbelievable. Not a shot.
Mr.Vegas: If someone can shame MV into showing, he would be a respected member at the table. However, our little game's stakes are probably too small. I give Mr. Vegas a 1 in 15 shot in winning a 1 in 2000 chance in showing.
Lou: She's gone AWOL. I hope you are well Lou. I still like your chances.
LilRicky: You have to be kidding me! Chances to win are infinitessimal. Chances of getting a hernia while picking up the 16 pound rock: EVEN
On to the degenerates:
Ladies first:
Cooper: She has been sorely missed of late, and I bet she misses our money dearly. I would say her chances are an inverse relation to the number of Smithwicks she drinks, with an over/under at 4.
3 or less bears: Even money baby.
5 or more: Easy money
Push: ??????
KC: I fold to her even when she is not playing the hand. She is in the money 4 out of 5 times.
LilBMW: I haven't played with her enough but I am taking the "last longer" bet against her old man (BMW). 8 to 1 to win.
Now for the truly bad players:
Marky-Mark: Too many vowels in the last name. Too many bluffs. Too many pushes against me where I am clearly the second best. I think he is a good shot f he doesn't get short stacked (that's Molson not chips). I give him 4 to 1.
BMW: Well, BMW has been on a run BUT these things do happen to end. 99-1 to win. 1 to 99 to mention BMW in the first three minutes of the game.
WallyBall: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tiiltboy is still thinking about his last 34,425 bad beats. Just ask him, he'll tell you all about it. 50 to 1 shot.
LetsChat: This is hard because I may need to crack his Aces with hammer. If I am successful, LetsChat is off to TILTLAND where he is a poker god and the rest of us are mere donkey ATMs used at his pleasure. However, while in TILTLAND he will crash and burn at the table. On the other hand, if Mr. "UpandComer" at the work, keeps his head, the rest of us can repeat this mantra: "Nice hand, LetsChat. You suck." 4 to 1
TheFlyingDane: 2 to 5 that FD is the first to push all in. 5 to 1 to win. 10 to 1 that he has to leave early to catch a flight to South America tonight.
TheHost: Depends on the interview today. Money if it went well. OUR MONEY if it did not.
TheMan: I am preparing the Hammer for all of you. Please call me. 1 to 99 to piss someone off. 8 to 1 to win. Even money to have an excellent time.
See you then. ¶ 9:31 AM
BigMan: kind of hard to win when YOU NEVER F*CKING SHOW!!!!!
Mr. Weatherbee: Ditto, but we feel his love. Did anyone ever hear the story where this son of b*tch sent me to the rail with some weak Ax against my might AJ suited? If not, I can regale you tonight.
JonBoy: Home counting his winnings. No chance.
JoGirl: Helping JonBoy do same. Zero.
TonyaHarding: After the savage beating she gave us the last time she showed, how can this be anything but a positive move to her bankroll. She gets zero chance and a "I can't believe she would pass up beating our brains in again" Award.
RangerDanger: Given the choice of playing cards or hiding in the bushes waiting for hikers, guess what this guy chooses? Unbelievable. Not a shot.
Mr.Vegas: If someone can shame MV into showing, he would be a respected member at the table. However, our little game's stakes are probably too small. I give Mr. Vegas a 1 in 15 shot in winning a 1 in 2000 chance in showing.
Lou: She's gone AWOL. I hope you are well Lou. I still like your chances.
LilRicky: You have to be kidding me! Chances to win are infinitessimal. Chances of getting a hernia while picking up the 16 pound rock: EVEN
On to the degenerates:
Ladies first:
Cooper: She has been sorely missed of late, and I bet she misses our money dearly. I would say her chances are an inverse relation to the number of Smithwicks she drinks, with an over/under at 4.
3 or less bears: Even money baby.
5 or more: Easy money
Push: ??????
KC: I fold to her even when she is not playing the hand. She is in the money 4 out of 5 times.
LilBMW: I haven't played with her enough but I am taking the "last longer" bet against her old man (BMW). 8 to 1 to win.
Now for the truly bad players:
Marky-Mark: Too many vowels in the last name. Too many bluffs. Too many pushes against me where I am clearly the second best. I think he is a good shot f he doesn't get short stacked (that's Molson not chips). I give him 4 to 1.
BMW: Well, BMW has been on a run BUT these things do happen to end. 99-1 to win. 1 to 99 to mention BMW in the first three minutes of the game.
WallyBall: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tiiltboy is still thinking about his last 34,425 bad beats. Just ask him, he'll tell you all about it. 50 to 1 shot.
LetsChat: This is hard because I may need to crack his Aces with hammer. If I am successful, LetsChat is off to TILTLAND where he is a poker god and the rest of us are mere donkey ATMs used at his pleasure. However, while in TILTLAND he will crash and burn at the table. On the other hand, if Mr. "UpandComer" at the work, keeps his head, the rest of us can repeat this mantra: "Nice hand, LetsChat. You suck." 4 to 1
TheFlyingDane: 2 to 5 that FD is the first to push all in. 5 to 1 to win. 10 to 1 that he has to leave early to catch a flight to South America tonight.
TheHost: Depends on the interview today. Money if it went well. OUR MONEY if it did not.
TheMan: I am preparing the Hammer for all of you. Please call me. 1 to 99 to piss someone off. 8 to 1 to win. Even money to have an excellent time.
See you then. ¶ 9:31 AM
