Friday, January 20, 2006
Give me strength...
Things I hate about the office rest room
1.) Every H1B jackass thinks he needs to flush the urinal before he uses it.
What?
Ok, you stand three inches from the urinal, flush, have 3 billion urinary germ microbes bombard your hands, face, clothes, etc., and for what?! You will flush it again after you are done, right? We will see...Nope.
Ok, now I get it. You're leaving it for the next moron to deal with.
2.) No cellphones.
Do I need to repeat?
NO F*CKING CELL PHONES!
Tonight's contestant for World's Most Inappropriate Idiot is Mr. YouCantBelieveHowF*ckingImportantIam. He works in the fastpaced IT world and only he can bring order to his workspace/mates. Yet saving the world from rogue bits and bytes does not give our hero enough time to relieve himself. So...he will attempt to urinate and talk to his wife at the same time.
Verbatim Quote: No, don't get the veal, I hate veal. Get Lamb, oh yeah, that's the ticket, uuuunnnnhhhh...No, nothing, I am just peeing.
3.) Why oh why lord do these retards think it is ok to stand next to me while they pee. At a full house,I understand.
When you have a choice of three or more urinals, here is the plan, man:
A.) If you are first, use the urinal furthest from the door. DO NOT USE THE MIDDLE ONE. That just screams "I am gay and taking on all requests!"
B.) If that one is taken, next choice is the one FURTHEST from that one or for the mentally challenged, the one closest to the door.
C.) Fill in as best to stay away from your co-urinators.
4.) Wash your, stinking, filthy hands when you are done. Just using water is NOT ACCEPTABLE! Soap up, stinky!
Remember, I am watching you. ¶ 1:31 PM
1.) Every H1B jackass thinks he needs to flush the urinal before he uses it.
What?
Ok, you stand three inches from the urinal, flush, have 3 billion urinary germ microbes bombard your hands, face, clothes, etc., and for what?! You will flush it again after you are done, right? We will see...Nope.
Ok, now I get it. You're leaving it for the next moron to deal with.
2.) No cellphones.
Do I need to repeat?
NO F*CKING CELL PHONES!
Tonight's contestant for World's Most Inappropriate Idiot is Mr. YouCantBelieveHowF*ckingImportantIam. He works in the fastpaced IT world and only he can bring order to his workspace/mates. Yet saving the world from rogue bits and bytes does not give our hero enough time to relieve himself. So...he will attempt to urinate and talk to his wife at the same time.
Verbatim Quote: No, don't get the veal, I hate veal. Get Lamb, oh yeah, that's the ticket, uuuunnnnhhhh...No, nothing, I am just peeing.
3.) Why oh why lord do these retards think it is ok to stand next to me while they pee. At a full house,I understand.
When you have a choice of three or more urinals, here is the plan, man:
A.) If you are first, use the urinal furthest from the door. DO NOT USE THE MIDDLE ONE. That just screams "I am gay and taking on all requests!"
B.) If that one is taken, next choice is the one FURTHEST from that one or for the mentally challenged, the one closest to the door.
C.) Fill in as best to stay away from your co-urinators.
4.) Wash your, stinking, filthy hands when you are done. Just using water is NOT ACCEPTABLE! Soap up, stinky!
Remember, I am watching you. ¶ 1:31 PM
Comments:
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I get a crack out of guys that get both hands up on the wall, or at least one. I notice people dropping dueces and talking on the phone. That's some harcore stuff right there.
Your example of the guy talking about Veal is perfect too. How important is that conversation that he needs to be doing it while taking a leak? I remember waiting tables on couples where one person was on the phone having a lazy conversation about nothing while the other person just sat there bored. Retards.
Your example of the guy talking about Veal is perfect too. How important is that conversation that he needs to be doing it while taking a leak? I remember waiting tables on couples where one person was on the phone having a lazy conversation about nothing while the other person just sat there bored. Retards.
Hear you, Bob. What do the people on the other end of the phone think of these guys?
I think the guy's wife is probably thinking something like "I really love him, he always answers the phone when I call."
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I think the guy's wife is probably thinking something like "I really love him, he always answers the phone when I call."
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